exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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