Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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