i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Randomize
