No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize