Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
You smell like a Billy Joel song
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
