hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
should my penis look like a turkey
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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