How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
