My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
