the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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