he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
