Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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