You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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