so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize