Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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