well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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