Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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