I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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