that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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