i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
