the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
tell your sister to shave her snatch
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
