i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
