i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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