I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
