dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
so much tequila, so little girl.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize