I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
