awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
