I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
a search helicopter?!
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
