I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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