thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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