Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
