It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize