Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
