Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize