what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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