there was a trapeze. enough said
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
