Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
