Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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