Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize