and i looked up. we had an audience...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
