My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
