its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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