No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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