yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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