Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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