I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
