u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
