you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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