dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
