he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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