Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
