Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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