So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
