Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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