i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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