Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
