Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
