Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
