Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
