I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
