It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
