I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
