Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
