I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
