new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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