We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
ttyl tear gas
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
